Apparently that test this morning completely wiped out my brain function for the rest of the day. A guy called at work and I had to have him repeat everything he said. Multiple times. I felt like an idiot--and basically said so on the phone. (My standard cover for zoning out is "I'm sorry, my brain just checked out. Can you repeat that please?" Yeah, it get's a little humiliating--especially when that person repeats things v e r y s l o w l y to make sure you're getting it.) And then--OK, I'm in story mode now.
Scene: Circle K on my way home from work. I need to get gas.
Me: [thinking] Hmm...what am I supposed to do first? (Can you tell it's been a while since I've done this?) Reading, reading...ah. [Swipe the card, authorize, blah blah blah. The pump is now telling me "select the grade and remove the nozzle" so I can pump the gas. I take out the nozzle thing and try to push the grade I want. Nothing happens. I push it again, feeling like an idiot since I can tell it's not what I'm supposed to be doing. I look around me. A girl pulls up next to me and I listen intently to try to figure out what to do. Still can't figure it out. I push the little "Help" button in a futile attempt to...well, get some help. (I'm really hoping it just puts up a new message on the screen instead of calling out an attendant, although at this point I'm almost up for anything.) I flip up the little stand thing the nozzle was resting on and flip it back down. Some gas comes out, but the pump is now telling me that the transaction has been canceled.] Canceled? How the heck did that happen?
[I start all over again. Still don't know what I'm doing. Feeling dumber with every passing second. The girl pumping gas next to me has now returned from the convenience store with a drink--I've obviously been standing here for a while. Giving up all pretense of dignity, I cross over the little cement divider between the pumps.]
Me: Um, I have a really stupid question for you.
Me: I can't figure out how to get the gas out. Can you help me?
[We walk to the other side, she looks at my situation]
Me: It says to select the grade but I can't figure out how to...
Girl: Oh, you just flip this thing up. [which she does]
Me: Oh. Duh. Thanks!
[She walks away, probably shaking her head at me and texting her friend with a story about this retarded girl at the gas station...]
Yeah, how sad is that? But funny. I probably should be more embarrassed than amused by this, but oh well.
5 months ago